Most people are probably wondering: why relationships don’t last? Indeed, I am sitting here wondering why so many people around me are either divorced or have broken relationships. So, I took a hard look at my past relationships. I interviewed a couple of loved ones. Notably, friends and relatives including those who have found success in their marriages and those who have experienced failures. It turns out, the most successful relationships are built on 3 separated but inter-connected wheels. I, you, and We. Also known as the three wheels of a healthy relationship.
Let’s find out more.
The three wheels of a relationship: “I”
Often, we have set goals that we want to achieve. More, we have this preconception of what a relationship is all about. Consequently, we do our major effort to fit in all our wants and needs. However, we do that from our own perspective. Then, we forget to put ourselves in our partner’s or spouse’s shoes. Basically, the lack of inclusiveness when it comes to our personal or professional endeavors. Which in turn leads to misunderstanding and miscommunications. That is why being self-centered in a relationship ultimately puts it at risk. Pay attention, to expressions like “my this”, “my that”, or “don’t use my” and “don’t touch my”. I am not saying we should do a word count to find out how many times our partner or we utilize the aforementioned expressions. Or even that utilizing them necessary lead to issues. But if you or your ❤ love one overused the word “I” in your relationship it means the person is in it alone and doesn’t care about you.
Pay attention, to expressions like “my this”, “my that”, or “don’t use my” and “don’t touch my”.
The three wheels of a relationship: “You”
It is important to acknowledge the other you, in a relationship. Your partner, your significant other. Actually, most relationships do fail because one person absorbs all the energy. Thus, leaving limited room for the other person to actually breathe. Accepting, your spouse’s or your partner’s emotions and feelings are extremely important and healthy for the relationship to prosper. So, always check on your second half. You know, just to make sure he or she is happy and enjoying the relationship to the max. Basically, be conscious of the presence of another person in your life. Nevertheless, find time to take care of yourself, follow your passion and explore the happiness of a peaceful and lovely relationship. In another word, find and preserve your identity within the limit of your relationship. Make sure your partner accepts you for who you are not for who he or she wants you to be.
The three wheels of a relationship: “We”
Perhaps, this is the most significant aspect of a relationship. We are in this together. There is no me without you. My failure is your failure. My success is your success. It is all about loyalty to one another. A true relationship is built on the promise of equality, mutual respect, and mutual support. Clearly, I have learned during my investigation that most relationships ended because the “We” wasn’t present anymore. Actually, it is the number one root cause of broken relationships. The union is absent.
Most relationships ended because the “We” wasn’t present anymore.
However, let keep in mind when there is a “We” nothing is impossible even in the face of the most challenging situation. For example, buy a house is generally speaking a “We” project.
As I found out after my investigations, a relationship is about finding the balance between yourself and your partner while striving to achieve a perfect union. Sure, that is a lot of work and it requires a lot of patience as well. Yet, most people especially nowadays are not patient enough nor willing to put in the hard work to make things work. In addition, to the short-term simple spirited behavior, we observe nowadays.
A relationship is about finding the balance between yourself and your partner while striving to achieve a perfect union.
Regardless, those are the three wheels of a relationship. If any of those wheels breaks down the relationship fails. Consequently, we should always to do our best to keep the inter-connection going no matter the situation.
Certainly, there might be multiple reasons why some relationships succeed and other fail but this is just a personal contribution. Finally, it is also important to mention that those principles could be applied to any type of relationship.